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About

24. IU grad. about as lost as you are.

i hope to one day become a food writer, probably a food essayist.

i'm in love- with my friends, with my dreams, with my life.

i'm terrified of not knowing what's out there.

i hope i'm growing. i hope i never stop learning.

Following

5 August 14

high-school-fling:

spicy-vagina-tacos:

freezerburnt-capsicle:

dontbeanassbutt:

boy, blowjobs sure are a mouthful

jeez, that pun was hard for me to swallow

penis

thanks for your contribution

Reblogged: kristaaaaa

Posted: 3:15 AM
Gordo and me.
We’re boozy besties.

Gordo and me.

We’re boozy besties.

Posted: 3:10 AM

sams-film-stills:

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010) Lucas Lee Posters Dir. Edgar Wright

Reblogged: dorkvader

22 July 14
I’m hungry for travel
or something

I’m hungry for travel

or something

21 July 14

dear universe

I would very much like to speak with DJ again

but mostly have sex with him

if you could please pass along the message to him

and have him get back to me reasonably soon

I’d really appreciate it

since we’ve not actually had sex since that one time in early May

and I’d like to do the sex thing again

sincerely,

Lily, who enjoys being thoroughly screwed by DJ while he grabs me by the ankles

9 July 14
btw here look at me and my perfect hair

btw here look at me and my perfect hair

Posted: 1:51 AM

Gordo and I are done fooling around for the time being.

He’s got way too much personal stuff going on, and I’m just… well… you know.

I’ll try to remember to write more about it later.

The most important thing is that we’re still close friends. And we still trust each other. And at the end of the day, I can count on him if shit goes down.

Love ya, kid.

30 June 14

This weekend.

Uhhhh.

UHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

GORDO AND I HUNG OUT LITERALLY THE ENTIRE WEEKEND.

And it was great and wonderful and so relaxing and I was so happy to have him around and he and Mac got along great which was awesome and we just talked about things and it was wonderful

but it was SO WEIRD to spend this much time with him

because he’s not been around

because he’s always traveling and also he was definitely way more into things with his other gals

and now I don’t think there are any other gals

and IDK guys it was just weird

but good weird

I’m just really weirded out

but very, very, very, very happy.

22 June 14

May 16th// 11:08 pm
“Hey, I guess you’re asleep. Call me back when you wake up”

July 24th// 5:04 am
“Wake up I miss you”

September 8th// 2:09 am
“I just wanted to hear your voice”

September 8th// 2:16 am
“Okay listen. I think I might be in love with you please call me back.”

October 11th// 5:42 pm
“Baby girl I love you, I’m so happy you’re mine I’ll see you tonight.”

November 29th// 8:06 am
“You’re still asleep and you’re the most beautiful thing in the world. I can’t wait to get home and see you. I can’t wait to kiss you.”

December 12th// 9:16 am
“Look I’m sorry about what I said. I didn’t mean it. I still love you princess. I love you. I’m sorry. I just.. I love you alright. Call me back when you can.”

January 15th// 4:06 pm
“I’m out and I saw something that made me think of you so I thought I would call you. I miss your voice.”

January 18th// 9:12 am
“Baby get dressed, I’m picking you up in 15, let’s run away.”

January 23rd// 8:47 pm
“Oh god your mother hates me”

February 14th// 3:06 pm
“Happy Valentine’s day I love you more than anything. You’re the world. You’re everything good. I’d let you swallow me whole. I like the way you look when you’re tired. I hate it when you cry. I’ll see you tonight baby.”

February 24th// 12:09 am
“I’m sorry.”

April 8th// 4:06 am
“Hey… I need to come over and get the rest of my stuff.”

13 voicemails you left me  (via extrasad)

FUCK

(via arabellashigh)

Reblogged: staceyannee

8 June 14

I ate two pounds of strawberries today

7 June 14

Soulmates

 

When I was a little girl, all I ever dreamed about was my soulmate

My perfect match

My future husband

Thinking that one person was the most important thing in my life

And thinking that one person would fit all of these descriptions

We are all trained, I think,

To want to seek out this one person

We have been taught to romanticize petty behaviors and mannerisms

Taught that when a boy pushes you, that he likes you

That when he makes you laugh more than anyone else

He should be rewarded with your love and adoration

And when you find your person, you are then whole.

***

In my mind I chased after boys

I don’t think I even spoke to them in real life, most of the time

Unless they were discussing a topic I found interesting

Or was knowledgeable in that area

I didn’t flip my hair until college

I wore what I wanted to wear- jeans that never fit right, musical theater tshirts, oversized hoodies-

I talked how I wanted to talk, with poignance and opinions based off of fact

And in that sense I was free

And I think that bizarre, tiny sense of freedom

Gave people the idea that I was independent

That I was my own person

When, really, I was just raised by a very good mother

In a Democratic household.

But most fear what they do not understand

So they avoided me

And I felt alone in my most vulnerable years

Because I had been taught to seek out my one person.

***

I have been with two males- a boy and a man.

The boy, my first love, was not worthy of me

And my mind

And my power

And my love.

But, as many do, I did not believe in myself or find value in myself

And poured my thoughts and emotions into the soulless body of this boy

Who took my light and energy

And turned it into darkness.

I don’t know what it was about you, boy-

And I say boy because you were no man when we were together-

But somewhere down the line you began to resent my freedom,

My courage,

My growing confidence and evolving form,

My soul.

Or, perhaps, it was that you hated yourself and your life

And could not stand to watch my light grow.

Is that why your palm met my cheek when I grew angry?

Is that why your hands tightened around my neck?

Is that why you continued to force your way into me

Into my life

Into the things and people I cared about most

Even when I had doubts or said no?

I said no. You didn’t stop. You wouldn’t let me leave.

And then, suddenly, you couldn’t wait to be rid of me-

You were never a man, merely a fool with too much time on his hands.

***

The man, my second love, the one I thought was my true love

He was going to rescue me.

He was The One, making me feel whole after The Boy.

What I didn’t realize until it was too late was that

I wasn’t actually whole

I was barely half full

I just felt whole because The Boy had emptied me.

So I lied, not on purpose, to this man

Saying how he was the one, we were meant to be

I felt so much love and would do anything for him

And then life happened, and things got tough

And we both let each other down in the most horrible way.

The worst thing about abusive relationships-

That you have the hardest time bringing yourself to leave,

And you don’t know if it’s because you’re scared

Or because you feel guilty.

We both had light, but we were only half lit

And as we tried to save each other’s light

We neglected to care for ourselves

And The Man regressed to boyhood

As he wrapped his hands around my neck.

Then again, I can’t speak for myself about my regression

As I initially fought back, then fought to save our relationship.

I tried to give you the world, darling,

I would’ve given you the moon and the stars and every bright thing in life

But I’m glad you wanted none of those things

Because I needed to save my own light.

***

From what I understand, soulmates

Are meant to complete you

Make your world perfect

Love you unconditionally

Rescue you from the big dark bad things in this world

And I’ve been looking for my rescuer this whole time

Searching for him every time I laugh or am intrigued or feel a spark

Which is the worst thing I can possibly do.

These males have brought so much harm upon me

And maybe some people think that means I really should be rescued by

The One

But I think that maybe I don’t need to be rescued

Maybe I don’t need to be completed

Maybe my world doesn’t need to be perfect

Because nothing is perfect

Because maybe…

Maybe I need to love myself unconditionally.

It’s the corniest thing, and egotistical I’m sure

But I believe it to be true.

I used to want to find my soulmate more than anything else

My one true love

My perfect match

My future husband

Now I just want to make myself whole on my own

Without saying “no” and being blatantly ignored

And without having my light taken from me.

 

6 June 14

nightcurse:

Galaxy Quest appreciation post~

Reblogged: definitelynotangels

3 June 14
can we just take a hot minute to discuss how amazing my roommates and I look here
I love these two
they are saints for putting up with me
and my drunken mistakes

can we just take a hot minute to discuss how amazing my roommates and I look here

I love these two

they are saints for putting up with me

and my drunken mistakes

2 June 14
scotchy scotch scotch
after a week from hell and being contacted by my ex AGAIN
ugh.
and now I have no idea what the fuck is up with DJ and it’s just SO ANNOYING
I DON’T EVEN KNOW IF YOU’RE ROMANTICALLY INTERESTED IN ME DUDE 
IT’S OKAY IF YOU’RE NOT
JUST SAY IT ONE WAY OR ANOTHER
I LIKE YOU OR I DON’T LIKE YOU
NOT THAT FUCKING DIFFICULT

scotchy scotch scotch

after a week from hell and being contacted by my ex AGAIN

ugh.

and now I have no idea what the fuck is up with DJ and it’s just SO ANNOYING

I DON’T EVEN KNOW IF YOU’RE ROMANTICALLY INTERESTED IN ME DUDE 

IT’S OKAY IF YOU’RE NOT

JUST SAY IT ONE WAY OR ANOTHER

I LIKE YOU OR I DON’T LIKE YOU

NOT THAT FUCKING DIFFICULT

30 May 14
I felt pretty tonight
Also my hair was looking pretty fierce for not being washed in like four days
Also I worked out again and sweated a bit so maybe I’m happy from that

I felt pretty tonight

Also my hair was looking pretty fierce for not being washed in like four days

Also I worked out again and sweated a bit so maybe I’m happy from that

Themed by Hunson. Originally by Josh