RSS | Archive | Random


24. IU grad. about as lost as you are.

i hope to one day become a food writer, probably a food essayist.

i'm in love- with my friends, with my dreams, with my life.

i'm terrified of not knowing what's out there.

i hope i'm growing. i hope i never stop learning.


21 October 14

I wish Gordo had come over Friday night when he said he was going to come over.

I wish I hadn’t slept alone Friday night.

I wish I’d spent more time with Gordo this weekend.

I wish Gordo hadn’t left so early on Sunday.

I wish Gordo didn’t make me feel like he was using me this last weekend. (I don’t think he is, definitely not intending to, but it still feels like that.)

I am so so so curious and nervous to see what this Thursday hangout has in store for us.

I wish I could’ve kissed Gordo for longer this weekend.

18 October 14

Marie Antoinette x MIA (Bad Girls 2.0)


Marie Antoinette x MIA (Bad Girls 2.0)

Reblogged: politiciansandhiphop

13 October 14
Happy housewarming/six month anniversary to the best/most beautiful roommates in the world. #gangstersparadise

Happy housewarming/six month anniversary to the best/most beautiful roommates in the world. #gangstersparadise

3 October 14

…and naturally Gordo and I remain ridiculously platonic during our hangout tonight which felt fine but man I really could’ve gone for at least a kiss but I highly doubt it would’ve matched the mood since I wasn’t so much flirty as I was just a raging bitch because I was in a weird/bad mood from work all week.

On the upside, I introduced him to Shipwreck.

2 October 14

Regarding the man my friends are now referring to as my part-time husband.

Remember when I said Gordo and I weren’t fooling around anymore? Like, forever ago? And by forever ago I mean back in June?

Yeah that lasted about three weeks. 

But we didn’t have sex again.

Until this last Friday.


:) :) :)

Not really sure what’s happening but man I really like having sex with that kid.

(also what the hell how did we go essentially FIVE MONTHS without actually having sex with each other) (what are we FRIENDS)

15 September 14
I suck at karaoke but I’m really good at annoying Gordo and getting his friend to join me in messing up his hair

I suck at karaoke but I’m really good at annoying Gordo and getting his friend to join me in messing up his hair

12 September 14

To my love, wherever you may roam.

I don’t know where you are right now

or who you are

or what you are

or how you are

and I am not ready to have such a responsibility of pouring all of me into you

and I am not ready to trust you 

but I am ready to meet you.

I am ready to know that it is you

and you alone

who will adventure with me to the ends of the earth.

Come to me, my darling.

Reveal yourself.

I already love you. I just don’t know you.

8 September 14

Updated for 2014!
Nightmare before ChristmasCorpse brideThe Addams familyThe Addams family valueSweeny ToddScooby DooScooby Doo 2Monsters Inc.Monsters UniversityBeetlejuiceGhostbustersGhostbusters IIParaNormanFrankenweenieSleepy HollowIt’s the great pumpkin, Charlie BrownDark ShadowsCasperUnder wrapsDon’t look under the bedMad monster partyThe worst witchHalloweentownHalloweentown IIYoung FrankensteinClueGremlinsPractical magicThe Rocky Horror Picture ShowHaunted mansionLittle vampireLittle NickyCoralineHotel TransylvaniaHocus Pocus
Shows and Halloween specials:
Ruby GloomPhineas and Ferb 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 Simpsons 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25Lilo and StitchAmerican Dragon: Jake LongKim PossibleDanny PhantomThat’s so RavenUnfabulousLizzie McGuireThe Proud FamilyHey Arnold!Ned’s declassifiedZoey 101
Iced pumpkin cookiesMini pumpkin swirl cheesecakesPerfect pumpkin pieNo bake spiderweb cheesecakeOrange and black cupcakesSpiderweb tutorial for cupcakes, cookies and browniesButterbeerButterbeer cupcakesCauldron cakesChocolate fudge cake with ghost maringuesFrankenstein marshmallow popsNo bake pumpkin spice cookie ballsCaramel apple cinnamon rollsThe ultimate Halloween spooktacular roundupPumpkin mousseOrange pumpkin pancakesHalloween candy buffetDIY Halloween candyCandy applesHomemade cotton candy25 sweet and salty Halloween snacks15 easy Halloween dessert recipesCandy corn fruit cupsMonster doll cookiesSpooky sweets for HalloweenHalloween cuisineJello wormsPumpkin chocolate chip barsChocolate spidersBrain cupcakesSpiderweb cupcakesPumpkin and ginger cheesecakeHoney pumpkin pieButternut pumpkin piesBloody floatsScaredy crackersHalloween candy made easyPopcorn balls64 non candy snack ideasOoey gooey monster eye cookiesSpooky Halloween spiritsGhoulishly Glowing cupcakesFrightful fruit kebabsPoison toffee apples
RocktoberDevil’s swingCome little childrenUp after midnightDid you hear that?ManhuntBilly where are you, Billy? Is that you?EVERYBODY SCREAM!The chillsCreepy songsSpooky tunesDouble, double, toil & trubbleDance around the fireIndie horrorNoctuaryCarnival cabaretIt’s too quietHalloween fanmix vol. 1Halloween fanmix vol. 2WitchesLight the torchesThrillerConversations with ghostsBad moon rising
Decorations & costumes:
DIY pumpkin candlesIndoors Halloween decoration30 DIY decorations for HalloweenCanning jar lid pumpkinDecorating with autumn leavesCheap Halloween decorationsBest Halloween decorationsHalloween crafts for kidsQuick and inexpensive Halloween decorationsLast minute skeleton costumesLast minute Wednesday Addams costumeSilent film stars costumesUmbrella bat costumeQuick costumes for kids60 fall decorating ideasFancy napkin decor11 enchanting Halloween decorating ideasNo carve pumpkin decoratingHaunting homemade Halloween decorationsDIY Halloween decorationsHomemade Halloween decorationsHow to make styrofoam tombstones40 easy to make Halloween decorsOrigami batsSpooky jars80s makeup tutorialEasy DIY Halloween costume ideasSparkly mermaid makeup tutorialLioness makeup tutorialCorpse paint tutorialCartoon lips1920s flapper lookEasy Halloween craftsSpider Queen makeup tutorialSally (Nightmare before Christmas) makeup tutorialSkull makeup tutorial


Updated for 2014!


Nightmare before Christmas
Corpse bride
The Addams family
The Addams family value
Sweeny Todd
Scooby Doo
Scooby Doo 2
Monsters Inc.
Monsters University
Ghostbusters II
Sleepy Hollow
It’s the great pumpkin, Charlie Brown
Dark Shadows
Under wraps
Don’t look under the bed
Mad monster party
The worst witch
Halloweentown II
Young Frankenstein
Practical magic
The Rocky Horror Picture Show
Haunted mansion
Little vampire
Little Nicky
Hotel Transylvania
Hocus Pocus

Shows and Halloween specials:

Ruby Gloom
Phineas and Ferb 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 
Simpsons 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25
Lilo and Stitch
American Dragon: Jake Long
Kim Possible
Danny Phantom
That’s so Raven
Lizzie McGuire
The Proud Family
Hey Arnold!
Ned’s declassified
Zoey 101


Iced pumpkin cookies
Mini pumpkin swirl cheesecakes
Perfect pumpkin pie
No bake spiderweb cheesecake
Orange and black cupcakes
Spiderweb tutorial for cupcakes, cookies and brownies
Butterbeer cupcakes
Cauldron cakes
Chocolate fudge cake with ghost maringues
Frankenstein marshmallow pops
No bake pumpkin spice cookie balls
Caramel apple cinnamon rolls
The ultimate Halloween spooktacular roundup
Pumpkin mousse
Orange pumpkin pancakes
Halloween candy buffet
DIY Halloween candy
Candy apples
Homemade cotton candy
25 sweet and salty Halloween snacks
15 easy Halloween dessert recipes
Candy corn fruit cups
Monster doll cookies
Spooky sweets for Halloween
Halloween cuisine
Jello worms
Pumpkin chocolate chip bars
Chocolate spiders
Brain cupcakes
Spiderweb cupcakes
Pumpkin and ginger cheesecake
Honey pumpkin pie
Butternut pumpkin pies
Bloody floats
Scaredy crackers
Halloween candy made easy
Popcorn balls
64 non candy snack ideas
Ooey gooey monster eye cookies
Spooky Halloween spirits
Ghoulishly Glowing cupcakes
Frightful fruit kebabs
Poison toffee apples


Devil’s swing
Come little children
Up after midnight
Did you hear that?
Billy where are you, Billy? Is that you?
The chills
Creepy songs
Spooky tunes
Double, double, toil & trubble
Dance around the fire
Indie horror
Carnival cabaret
It’s too quiet
Halloween fanmix vol. 1
Halloween fanmix vol. 2
Light the torches
Conversations with ghosts
Bad moon rising

Decorations & costumes:

DIY pumpkin candles
Indoors Halloween decoration
30 DIY decorations for Halloween
Canning jar lid pumpkin
Decorating with autumn leaves
Cheap Halloween decorations
Best Halloween decorations
Halloween crafts for kids
Quick and inexpensive Halloween decorations
Last minute skeleton costumes
Last minute Wednesday Addams costume
Silent film stars costumes
Umbrella bat costume
Quick costumes for kids
60 fall decorating ideas
Fancy napkin decor
11 enchanting Halloween decorating ideas
No carve pumpkin decorating
Haunting homemade Halloween decorations
DIY Halloween decorations
Homemade Halloween decorations
How to make styrofoam tombstones
40 easy to make Halloween decors
Origami bats
Spooky jars
80s makeup tutorial
Easy DIY Halloween costume ideas
Sparkly mermaid makeup tutorial
Lioness makeup tutorial
Corpse paint tutorial
Cartoon lips
1920s flapper look
Easy Halloween crafts
Spider Queen makeup tutorial
Sally (Nightmare before Christmas) makeup tutorial
Skull makeup tutorial

Reblogged: missentitlement

Posted: 2:29 AM

(Source: eliasghouliath)

Reblogged: dorkvader

Posted: 1:34 AM

i’m sorry does my feminism bother you

does my support of women in games bother you

does my belief that women should be able to do whatever the fuck they want sexually bother you



Posted: 1:32 AM

Why GamerGate Is Destined To Fail


What Is GamerGate?

It’s the Tea Party of video games. And Zoe Quinn is its Benghazi.

Okay, But What Is GamerGate Really?

GamerGate has been disingenuously framed as a grassroots campaign of gamers “concerned with the quality and integrity of video game journalism.” The campaign is, in truth, an effort to fold in, rehabilitate, and retroactively justify a previous campaign of blatant gender-based harassment against a female videogame developer for the capital offenses of having (a) a vindictive ex-boyfriend and (b) friends within the industry.

GamerGate is a campaign run by people who don’t understand what a real conflict of interest actually is, and who would institute standards of disclosure and prohibition on reporting so restrictive as to essentially disqualify all actual journalists from the space. They sincerely believe that the mere act of patronizing a developer precludes one from objectively reporting on that developer - a standard more stringent than that found in political reporting, and for a field of journalism that is far less important.

Yet even if GamerGate’s proposals were reasonable (they’re not), it wouldn’t matter, because no matter how noble its purported aims, the campaign sprung up from one of the most noxious onslaughts of sexism to rock the gaming industry in years, and a not-insignificant number of its proponents continue to engage in that harassment to this day, tarnishing the rest by association. #NotAllGamers, you say? Tough. Welcome to the word of open-invite politics, where anyone who lays claim to a movement is technically part of that movement. See also: the Tea Party. You live and die by your worst members, and right now, your worst members are utterly and openly putrid.

Admittedly, the Tea Party has managed to do well for itself in certain parts of the United States, so why couldn’t GamerGate? The answer is simple: The stakes are too low to stomach the vitriol seeping out of the movement’s underbelly. The Tea Party, laughable as it may be to some, seeks to address real-world issues impacting the country at large, where lives, jobs, and communities are actually at stake. That people within the games industry sometimes hook up doesn’t quite rise to that level of seriousness.

GamerGate, at its core, is about a woman being denied sexual agency. Yes, there is high-minded rhetoric about a lack of integrity in journalism, but with a curious inability to point to any examples of inaccurate journalism that can be traced back to any sort of influence-peddling. It is impossible to see the tenuousness of these claims and the ferocity with which they are made as anything but overcompensation for what gamers have done to Zoe Quinn. And the refusal to admit this is only making it worse.

The Unflattering Genesis

For those unaware, GamerGate can be traced back to a single event: The Zoe Post.

In short, indie game developer Zoe Quinn was recently made the subject of a novella-sized blog entry by her scorned ex-boyfriend (“The Zoe Post”), who laid out a sordid and overwrought tale of interpersonal betrayal. His professed goal was to “warn the public” as to what kind of person Quinn supposedly is. The immediate reaction was predictable: burner Twitter accounts began to pillory Quinn with cruel invective, memefying her alleged infidelity and hounding her on every corner of the Internet.

Around this time, digital hazmat teams were deployed by many websites to stop their message boards from being used as coordination hubs for harassment campaigns against Quinn. The hue and cry of “censorship” reared its head, forming one of the core conspiracies of GamerGate: that the upper echelons of the gaming industry attempted to suppress any discussion of The Zoe Post to protect “one of its own.”

This is where accusations of corruption begin to fall apart. Zoe Quinn, while certainly a colorful personality in the gaming industry, is not by any means a power-player, and her peers are not beholden to her from any sort of financial or publicity standpoint. How easy would it have been for Kotaku et al. to run stories on The Zoe Post and rake in easy ad revenue thereby? They forfeited these opportunities, however, in the name of integrity and an attempt to elevate the collective image of the gaming industry – to show the world that we are not captive to sub-TMZ levels of malicious voyeurism.

Yet as the old adage goes, you can’t save someone from themselves. With members of the press refusing to validate The Zoe Post as an actual story, schoolyard cruelty turned to outright animosity. The details of this chapter are highly disputed, yet simultaneously unimportant – whether Quinn was “doxxed,” or doxxed herself for attention, there is no doubt that the campaign against her hit a fever pitch of venom and outright misogyny. One way or another, gamers were going to make Quinn into a headline.

And it worked.

The press finally took notice, but not for the reasons that GamerGate proponents wanted – they had unwittingly become Exhibit A for why the gaming industry was still widely considered a cesspool, unbefitting the respect accorded to traditional media. Quinn was a victim, and the gaming community her assailant. Well done, gamers!

The Incredulous Transformation Into GamerGate

To most outside observers, the discussion of Quinn was not only highly offensive, but downright embarrassing for the community at large. It was a tawdry affair with no real public interest component, one conducted with a high school-level of maturity, and the fact that so many gamers seized on it with such fervor only reinforced the “man-baby” image that our industry has been trying to shed for years. The refusal of the gaming press to validate it was, in fact, an attempt to save the community from itself. But the community made clear that it wanted nothing more than to set itself on fire.

At this point in time, it was safe to say that the campaign against Quinn had been a failure. If the intent was to ruin Quinn’s personal life, her detractors certainly came close – she and those around her endured weeks of harassment and personal threats, made even worse by the suggestion that they not “feed the trolls” by fighting back against the torrential abuse. Yet Quinn’s professional life had never been more secure. Her Twitter followers went up by 50%, Patreon funds flowed in, and the industry realized more than ever how much it needs people like Quinn – people capable of revealing just how much adolescent rage and misogyny still exists amongst rank-and-file gamers.

Quinn’s detractors quickly found themselves on the receiving end of some well-justified scorn for how they had collectively conducted themselves. They realized that, in order to gain any sort of foothold into legitimacy, they would have to shift focus away from “Zoe Quinn is an awful person” as their mantra, as too many of their members could not resist dragging Quinn’s irrelevant sexual exploits into the discussion. Instead, they attempted to seize on the one kernel of The Zoe Post that might conceivably serve as a springboard for objective critique: Zoe Quinn once dated a video game journalist.

Seriously. That’s all they had.

Gamers Put On Their Journalism Hats

The story goes that Quinn got into a relationship with a guy shortly after he wrote a piece on her involvement in a scrapped webseries. The guy then went on to write for Kotaku, where he never reported on Quinn again. Somehow, this non-story got spun into a whole web of accusations about bias and corruption in the media, failing to identify a single instance of alleged bias in the journalist’s writing. Even now, people still accuse Quinn of sleeping with journalists to generate good press and/or reviews for her games, yet have been unable to provide any examples of this actually occurring.

The hysteria of GamerGate has, amongst other things, reduced the concept of a “conflict of interest” to absurdity. Are gamers simply unaware of how industry - not just video gaming, but any industry - functions? Do they think restaurant critics are not friendly with chefs? Film critics with actors? Music critics with musicians? Without relationships, there can be no reputation-building, no insight, no nuance or holistic understanding of subject matter. To reduce every point of interest to a presumptive conflict, as GamerGate does, both fundamentally misunderstands and kneecaps journalism, and will inevitably result in journalists getting worse, not better.

The unfortunate thing is that there is certainly corruption and a lack of ethics in many pockets of the video game industry’s journalistic wing. Suspect sponsorships and payola have been standard for years; anyone remember when Jeff Gerstmann got fired from GameSpot way back in 2007 after writing a middling review of Kane and Lynch, advertisements of which were plastered all over the website? Where was GamerGate back then? Why did it take The Zoe Post, a story utterly bereft of actual corruption, to galvanize gamers into pushing back against these entrenched practices?

No matter how desperately GamerGate proponents try to sweep this detail under the rug, the fact is that they only got truly interested in this subject when there was a woman to sexually shame for it. And that’s more damning than anything in The Zoe Post.

The Oppressors As Victims

Right out of the gate, GamerGate has only managed to find traction as a data point in a wider discussion of sexism and persecution in the video game industry. It is a desperate attempt to put a constructive gloss on what started and continues to operate in the shadows as a vehicle for gendered abuse and scorn. And so the narrative has taken another turn, this time towards “gamers” as an oppressed minority, vilified simply for wanting a certain level of decorum in discussion of them and their activities.

I’ll let the irony sink in for a moment.

The big problem with that angle is that GamerGate proponents conflate the act of gaming with their self-ascribed identify as gamers. Gamer doesn’t simply mean “one who plays games” – rather, it describes those who build a lifestyle around games, who emotionally invest in gaming subculture, and who take an active interest in the internal politics of gaming. And many of those so-called “gamers” are, in fact, the ones who were first to seize on The Zoe Post in its nascent, most prurient stage. Before anyone was interested in “journalistic integrity,” it was gamers launching incendiary volleys of slut-shaming Quinn’s way, choking her Twitter feed with blatant harassment.

Gamers are not being vilified for the mere act of playing games. They’re being vilified for constructing and nurturing a subculture that readily allows fiascos like The Zoe Post to take hold. One simply doesn’t see this level of sustained, community-based harassment in other spheres of media; not even comic book nerds would have the gall to conduct themselves in this manner. To throw up one’s hands and whine “#NotAllGamers!” is to abdicate any responsibility for taking care of one’s own house - a house that desperately needs tending before termites destroy the whole foundation.

Video gaming has come a long way in the past decades, from being a niche nerd hobby to now constituting a multi-billion dollar global industry. Attempts to shed its reputation as the #1 hobby of stunted man-children, however, have been regularly stymied by the “core” fanbase of gamers who perceive any critique of their subculture as a personal affront, one requiring not merely a retort, but retaliation. It is this childish mindset that prohibits many gamers from perceiving what is and isn’t fair game in a discussion.

In case they need it spelled out, the number of people someone has slept with isn’t fair game. Nor are weak gestures at legitimate issues when they operate as Trojan horses for gendered animosity. And until a sufficient number of community members digest that lesson, the remainder must accept that they will be judged alongside their brethren.

Don’t like it? Tell your brethren to knock that shit off.

Why GamerGate Won’t Succeed

The preceding should make it abundantly clear that the ostensible overarching goals of GamerGate have been entirely subverted by the muck and mire it crawled out from. The prevailing headline is not about any journalistic crisis in video gaming, as the GamerGate community has failed to provide any journalistic product that demonstrates inaccuracy linked to bias. Instead, the headline is about how gamers attempted to destroy a woman’s entire life (additionally targeting anyone in the blast radius for the sin of proximity) largely based on alleged crimes of gender.

(Again, #NotAllGamers is irrelevant. They were gamers. They came from the gaming community. They did it in the name of  gaming. And they get away with it because of the nature of the gaming community’s prevailing subculture, which many gamers continue to defend in substance, if not in form. The community is culpable for what it births, and that culpability grows every time its member try to sweep the abuse under the rug.)

Whether or not you agree with the preceding capsule summary is irrelevant – that’s the headline. It’s the one that’s been carried from The Guardian to Time Magazine, with only a handful of low-level webzines and YouTube channels buying the GamerGate version of events. And every subsequent attempt to change the narrative has only collectively dug the community in deeper as it runs from one corner of the Internet to the next, desperate to avoid a mea culpa - to find something, anything, to exonerate it, instead of lifting a finger to try and help the people hurt by its own members.

This is the conduct of children. This is the conduct of screaming toddlers unable and/or unwilling to admit the extent to which they transgressed, desperately deflecting to purported issues of substance in the hopes that enough flailing and kicking will make everyone forget what got them in trouble in the first place. This is why gamers are infantilized – because they so often act like infants. And GamerGate won’t change this perception, because it’s an extension of that infantile aversion to responsibility.


Let’s not mince words: GamerGate is stillborn. It will not be salvaged by a public relations cleanup. No number of cute mascots or appeals to broader principle like censorship or journalistic integrity will negate the damage its members have done to their own cause, simply because the cause is not one of sincere origin. It would be as if the Ku Klux Klan (or a group that includes members thereof) tried to convince the public that their real concern is high levels of inner city crime created by low-income residents – knowing where the Klan came from, why wouldn’t their superficially legitimate concerns immediately be seen as suspect?

(A note for the slow: No, this is not to compare all gamers or GamerGate proponents to Klansmen. It is to say that the foundational movement of GamerGate, borne of The Zoe Post, is a heinous one, and the linkage between the two still manifests to the detriment of every single constructive element of the campaign’s current form.)

If gamers really want to make a positive impact on the perception and function of their community, they will get their priorities straight. The first goal should be to make sure what happened to Zoe Quinn can never happen again – at the very least, not on the appalling scale that it did. After that, maybe we can start to talk about those ”standards of conduct” that were curiously absent from GamerGate’s entire first act.

READ. THE. WHOLE. THING. #standwithzoe

Reblogged: deathofgamergate

29 August 14

Final thoughts on this whole kerfuffle.


I’ve said my piece about my personal life and that holds true. I have zero interest in ever discussing my sex or love life publicly on other people’s terms. If you want answers about the particulars of a game developer’s private romantic entanglements, please ask yourself why you feel entitled to such a thing. As far as I’m concerned, the only people who have any business in knowing these things are the people they actually effect - and my current partner is aware.

Professionally, I feel like there are some things I can easily address though, now that things have begun to calm down.

Regarding the claim that I have exchanged sex for positive reviews. This has been investigated and debunked, and oh right, the review in question doesn’t even exist. Anything else written by Nathan in 2014, before we started dating, in which I am vaguely, tangentially mentioned at all has been the same tone and coverage as everyone else who covered it. There is no corruption issue here - if there was, you’d think there’d be some talk of massive AAA companies flying out and wining and dining games journalists rather than discussion of Phil Fish’s relationships. (warning: all of these links are screenshots and there’s a small sampling of the smorgasbord of fucked up shit in them) It’s almost like this whole scandal only blew up for reasons other than "corruption".

Regarding the claim that I doxxed and destroyed The Fine Young Capitalists, that is also incorrect. You can read that here in their own words. I know that when things kick up online it can be hard to sort out who did what, but aside from their own statement, there is zero evidence of this. What I did do was be critical of some of their policies on twitter, because as someone who has taught women game design and created programs to help them get started making their first games I get really passionate about this stuff. We have different approaches but share the same wish to get women involved with game development, and I wish them the best of luck in accomplishing that. Rebel Jam is not one of these programs and was totally unrelated to anything having to do with TFYC and came as a reaction to everything that was wrong about Game_Jam - but I will have some really exciting things to announce soon about it that I’ve been holding in for a while until paperwork clears and red tape is cut. Stay tuned.

Regarding the claim that I am the head of a massive conspiracy that is able to censor and shut down all major games press sites, 4chan, reddit, and god knows what else, I WISH that was true. God how cool would that be? A shadowy overlord of the internet, who is also kind of a cyborg? Shit that would be a good story. But that’s all it is - a story. Occam’s razor is still a thing. What is more likely, the pulp story of a lone woman manipulating the entire internet or that maybe, JUST MAYBE, other people can recognize this for the TMZ style bullshit it really is?

If you have any further concerns about what I stand for or if my role in the industry has been one for the betterment of other people, despite releasing a game pushing back against the stigma of mental illness for free on the biggest digital distribution platform, creating guides and programs to make game development more accessible to people of traditionally discouraged backgrounds, standing up for the image of future of indie games even at risk of getting sued back into the stone age, fighting for a better games culture where developers don’t have to fear consumers, experimenting with new formats of distributing free games, helping organize queer-friendly game jams; then I encourage you to watch me in the coming months. I am going to continue trying to break down barriers and disrupt the culture that enabled the abuse I’ve endured from the last two weeks from ever happening to anyone ever again. No more Phil Fishes. No more Anita Sarkeesians. No more Zoe Quinns. No more of the less known, less extreme cases where we don’t even notice or hear the voices disappearing. No more developers living in fear, afraid to speak their minds, afraid to be people, wondering when they might be next. This has always been my MO, this will continue to be so. I am going to keep doing what I do, I’m going to keep being a human with all the flaws and moments of brilliance that come with that, and hopefully I can work towards these goals with some level of effectiveness.

Time to get back to work. I love you all.

Don’t just scroll past this. #standwithzoe

Reblogged: ohdeargodbees

26 August 14

The Heart of the Gaming Community


Recently there’s been a new outpouring of misogyny and hate from certain sections of the gaming community. There’s an excellent analysis of the events on this blog, if you’re not caught up. I was strongly affected by one of the tweets featured in that article, from game writer Lana Polansky:


It makes me incredibly angry to hear about women working in this industry that are being ground down by harassment and abuse. I’m not putting up with this anymore. I’m furious that these abusive people exist. I wish I had more influence to speak out against them. What I know I can do is provide some moral support to those who are making a larger difference. So instead of outright venting, I decided to write about how proud I am of the people in this community who are standing up to this abuse, and why I believe in the future of this medium.


I’m not a developer, but a professional in the video game music industry. I arrange music for piano and small ensembles. From just the few people I’ve met, I know that the VGM industry is full of wonderful people. You know why? Because the work we do is a celebration of one of the best aspects of the medium – the music. Video games are full of problematic elements, but the music is something we can all be proud of. We can take that aspect aside, shine a spotlight on it and marvel at it’s brilliance. No-one can stop anyone else from enjoying that experience.

But I don’t do this to go on a never-ending nostalgia trip. I do it to bring novelty to a genre of music that I love, and the in-game experiences they represent. When I say “novelty” I mean the literal definition: the quality of being new, original, or unusual. This is the quality that a medium needs to grow, and that an industry needs to survive.

All art (including games) exists so that we can experience novelty and enrich our lives with new experiences, no matter who we are. Novelty challenges us, not only in our fiction, but in the day-to-day narratives of our lives and societies. Through story-telling, we can create safe spaces to explore familiar and unfamiliar ideas, situations and lifestyles. Through gaming, we can create literal simulations to explore our humanity with an even deeper focus. Whether creating or consuming games (or any art for that matter), we build on a tradition of encouraging novelty, connecting people and ideas, and creating a more enlightened world for subsequent generations.

When artists, writers and musicians decide to project their passion for gaming through their own unique personal lens, we come across the most exciting questions and ideas. To present these ideas or demands, is to insist that the industry keeps striving towards newness, and to include as broad a spectrum of people as possible, so that everyone feels welcome, represented, and encouraged to add their own stories to the medium. In this way, the medium never stops growing, and the stories that gaming can tell become limitless.


Why wouldn’t you want that? Yet, some people want less novelty, and more familiarity, insisting that the same stories continue to be told - and to the same people, ie: “Jack Dudebro is back, only this time he can literally shoot stubble out his own face! Press R1 to fire stubble, press L1 to recharge your stubble by thinking about your murdered wife.” Like a child who asks for the same bedtime story night after night, familiarity is comforting, but never challenging (and eventually, plain boring). If games no longer seek novelty, in fact if any artistic medium is done telling new stories, then it may as well be dead.

Once a person becomes apathetic towards or even afraid of novelty, refuses to listen to new stories, and even shouts down and abuses people who want to tell new stories – then they are actively contributing towards the decline of the industry they love, contrary to their claims of being a “true fan”.

When someone asks “Why not have a female character here? Why not have more POC characters?” and your response is to wail about how “your” pasttime is being forced to change, let me remind you why we are asking those questions: because we believe in the future of this industry. It has more stories to tell.

So my advice is this: seek out novelty. It’s literally everywhere. There are a lot of bad people who are screaming, abusing, and threatening us. It’s important to challenge them, and to try and be louder than them. But when your efforts leave you exhausted and defeated (and I can’t imagine how much willpower is required if you are a woman under their scrutiny), just take some time to look at some fanart, listen to a musical arrangement, or read an email from a fan. Individually, these are small things, but together they form the beating heart of this community. Recharge your mind by reminding yourself of how many wonderful people believe in the life and future of this industry. I’m proud to know so many of them.

Don’t give up!

Reblogged: caseyormond

Posted: 12:43 AM

Reblogged: dailydot

Posted: 12:42 AM

sengav said: Whats your thoughts on the whole Zoe Quinn thing


Officially, we stand with Zoe Quinn. It is our position that her personal life has nothing to do with her as a game developer. Allegations from her ex-boyfriend has nothing to do with games like Depression Quest and thus, this has nothing to do with our blog. Zoe Quinn has asked for her privacy to be respected and we are more than happy to do that. Her sexual history has nothing to do with gaming and the recent attacks on her for that is simply indicative of the misogyny that is rooted within gaming culture.

Reblogged: gamingfeminism

Themed by Hunson. Originally by Josh